u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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