So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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