Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
