Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize