Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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