im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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