You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
