Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
