Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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