I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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