Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
