if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
