the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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