I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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