There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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