saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Randomize
