Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
