I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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