I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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