Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
