I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
