Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
two words: eviction party
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
