he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
