I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
