smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize