come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So much rum. So many feels.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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