i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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