I'm really into asian looking animals
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
