This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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