my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
