Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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