You can't motorboat a personality
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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