is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
