doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
