this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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