P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
