Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
