I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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