their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
