I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
whose parrot is this?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.