tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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