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I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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