So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now