hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
only you would photoshop your dick
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
