I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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