IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
