I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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