Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
