Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize