All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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