Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
