I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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