I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
