So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
not ubering you a puppy
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
