What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
