i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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