he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
