dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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