Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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