i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
