end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
