I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
