You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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