3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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