i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
